Despair jokes

Suicide is never the answer.

Suicide is the question.

The answer is yes.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope...

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.

What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.

These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...

Why doesn't my egg want to crack?

Because I hate my egg-sistence.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.

Me: I have lost it.

Random: Lost what?

Me: My will to live.

It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!

The teacher is asking you a question.

Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"

Me: "Dead."

Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.

What makes sad people jump? Bridges.