A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Personal Jokes
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
