Personal jokes
What do you call a person?
A person.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.