Personal jokes
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Memes
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
What do you call a person?
A person.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.