Personal jokes

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

What do you call a person with a fat brain?

A fat neek!

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.

How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.