What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Personal Jokes
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
