When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What do you call a hungry person. African.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What Does a Deaf Person And an Orphan have in common, Neither of them can hear their parents
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
