Person jokes

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

What does a person eat before a race?

Answer: They fast.

Person: You're so ugly.

Me: You ugly.

Person: I'm not a mirror.

Me: And I'm not your reflection.

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

What do you call a person with no nose and no body?

Nobody knows.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.