Person jokes

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

How do you punish a blind person?

Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?

Take off the wheels!

What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?

A toaster.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.