Person jokes
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Yeah, Eli is hot.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.
Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.