Person jokes
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Lewis Clow
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
partying with elmo
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.