Person jokes
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
I'm horny and gay.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Memes
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?