Person jokes

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Anything they can't catch you.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.

What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.

Make him read a book.

Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.

He really shook things up today.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"