Person jokes

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Person 2: Yeah.

Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.

What do you call an idiot?

An absolute imbecile.

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

What do you call a person with no body or a nose?

Nobody knows.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

What do you call a person with a fat brain?

A fat neek!

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

What do you call a person with no arms and legs?

You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

Yoav

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.