At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
