Perception

Perception jokes

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...