Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
