People jokes

What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!

What do you call two redheads on Mars?

Locals.

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

Why do people watch hentai?

Because they are as fake as pornstars are.

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

Would you like to try African food?

They would too.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.