People jokes

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

Would you like to try African food?

They would too.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

What music do depressed people listen to?

"I Believe I Can Fly."

Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."

Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?

He does not like roasted vegetables.