People jokes
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"