People jokes

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀

British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

Women.

What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?

There’s 20 of them.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.

When people make accounts about you and a category.

My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

-JFK

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.

Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...