People jokes
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.