People jokes
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.