People jokes

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

Some people think incest jokes are funny.

I just think it's all relative.

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

People judge me because I'm quiet.

No one plans a massacre out loud.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?

They are always swinging a stick.