A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
