Advertisement
Advertisement

Puns

joey drew

People are making end of the world jokes, like there’s no tomorrow.

Arms

PewDiePie

surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they’re arms don’t get tired…

Fat

Anonymous

yo momma so fat that when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.

Bar

Anonymous

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Dad

panda devil

johnny was watching TV when you hear them say bitch and bastards so he ask hes dad “what is a bitch and bastard.” dad say “a bitch is a female and a bastard is a mail.” then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says “a shit is shaving creme like what i’m putting on my face and ass is a coat why don’t you bug your mom.” so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuck so johnny ask his mom what fuck means mom says "fuck means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says “welcome bitch and bastard may i tack your ass” the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i fucking the turkey.

Puns

Overwatch_Gamer321

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

Loudness

Anonymous

People judge me because im quiet

no one plans a massacre out loud

Moon

Reeeeeeee Reddy H

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.

Emo

Anonymous

Why do emo people want to be called scene now, the only thing I’ve scene from them is there suicide rate climbing

Kid

Anonymous

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

Gang

billy teh noot

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Depression

Anonymous

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore.

Person: why’d you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

Advertisement

Cut

Anonymous

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer, that at least i can scan my worth at the supermarket.

Don

Anya

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

Depression

Greengrass

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

Common

Watsittooya

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

Puns

Anonymous

People who are afraid of pedophiles… need to grow up.

Twin Towers

Anonymous

Why were the people in the twin towers sad? They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

Wonder

Phydeaux

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson…

Difference

Youre welcome

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate

Loading...