A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
People Jokes
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
