People jokes
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!