People

People jokes

Ash

16 views ·

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

Boob

27 views ·

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

Sex

22 views ·

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

Democrat

227 views ·

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Genie

25 views ·

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Cell

125 views ·

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

Handicap

16 views ·

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

Abuse

90 views ·

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Music

12 views ·

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

Nightmare

134 views ·

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

Hitman

13 views ·

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

Shooting

64 views ·

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.