People jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
All of us.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
We gotta work ahead, people!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.