People

People jokes

Life

4 views ·

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Capacity

30 views ·

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

Plant

7 views ·

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

2 people bought plants.

3 people bought shovels.

1 person yelled.

3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Abortion

752 views ·

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

  • 2
  • Klondike Bar

    27 views ·

    People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

    Adoption

    1 view ·

    Mom, why was I adopted?

    Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

    Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

    Tuxedo

    3 views ·

    My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

    Polar Bear

    4 views ·

    How do you catch a polar bear?

    Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

    Advert

    3 views ·

    Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

    And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

    Mozart

    11 views ·

    Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.