Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
People Jokes
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
All of us.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
