Peanut Butter jokes
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both like oil.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.