What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
I like peanut 🥜 butter 🧈 and honey 🍯
Peanut butter 🧈?
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
