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Parenthood

Parenthood jokes

Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

Friend: Like what?

Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.