Parenthood

Parenthood jokes

Miscarriage

    • What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.

    That one never gets old, just like the baby.

    Priest

    • Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

    The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

    Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

    The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

    Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

  • 1

    • Toy

    • Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

    Milk

    • When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

    Child

    • My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

    So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

    Wife

    • Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

    Friend: Like what?

    Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

    Mom

    • "When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

    Me:.....

  • 0