Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Adopted kid: Imadea big mastake Dad: You are one
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
