There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
mom said dad had the best pullout game... now im an uncle
Adopted kid: Imadea big mastake Dad: You are one
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
