Parent jokes
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Parents...
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.