Parent jokes
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.