Parent jokes
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.