Parent jokes

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck a plunger down the toilet.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why do orphans air?

It’s invisible just like their parents.

Why do orphans only have 360 days?

Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...

An orphan.

Why can't orphans fail a test?

Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3