Parent jokes
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Why did the orphan go to a church?
So he could call someone "father."
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.