Parent jokes
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Mommy?
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?