Parent jokes
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.