Parent jokes
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.