Owned

Owned jokes

White people

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Orphan

Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?

Because they never had loving parents of their own.

Math

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Memes

Threesome

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

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  • Statement

    Not a joke; just a statement:

    Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

    I don't own a Ferrari.

    War

    In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

    Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

    "Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.

    His father pointed at a map of North America.

    "Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.

    The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.

    "And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"

    The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.

    "Where is Germany again, Father?"

    He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.

    Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."

    "Yes?"

    "Has Hitler seen this map?"

    Ball

    Why do people never kick their own balls?

    Because they might lose one!

    Body

    "Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

    "I think you should ask yourself that."

    Picture

    Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

    Mama

    At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

    At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

    At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

    At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

    Weed

    Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

    Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

    Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

    Pet

    Why do white people own so many pets?

    'Cause they can't own people anymore.

    CEO

    Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

    Dog

    Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

    A: I don't know.

    Peanut

    So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

    I'm scared that it moves at night.

    I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.