Owned Jokes

whats the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a ferrari? i dont own a ferrari.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

n 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio. Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States. “Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked. His father pointed at a map of North America. “Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be,” he questioned his father. The man pointed towards the Soviet Union. “And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?” The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British. “Where is Germany again, Father?” He pointed to their home country in Central Europe. Hans pondered this information for a second. “One last question, Father.” “Yes?” “Has Hitler seen this map?”

at 6 she wanted a happy mama at 8 she hated acting like a mom at 10 she was wanted to see her own smile agian at 11 she wanted to see her mom

Weed: *gets hit my his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

(From Unknown Superheroes 11 by I am Mobo

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UADjpQQwxYgFtaj8zX7AlpG5JlN4mmJelBFszgvmHHY/edit :Copy and past in ur search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

“Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?”

“I think you should ask yourself that.”

Why Do People Never Kick Their Own Balls? because they might lose one

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

your own life hah

what's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend? I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it.

Q: what do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit

A: idk

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter. A lot of the time he will take things for granite. A lot of counter-offers were made.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well, there's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my off it.

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Mommy mommy! Do we own a sweatshop? Shut up and keep sewing.

That’s right, I have my own category😎

Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?

His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work but he was still really tired, so he decided the qiuckest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face. So he asked me to do it but I guess I don't know my own strangth and so-he went back to sleep again...