My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"
And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"
Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."
The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."
Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"
Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."
Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...
THE END
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
your own life hah
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
