Ownership jokes
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
What is a dog?
A pet.
Yours!
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.