Ownership jokes
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.