Ownership Jokes

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea.

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Why do orphans support slavery?

They finally have an owner.

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

First meme here

A black cat is lying on a wooden floor, biting a white flip-flop. Another floral flip-flop is on the floor nearby. The text "YOUR SOLE IS MINE!" is written in white capital letters across the bottom of the image.

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,

"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

what do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese

Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.

How many genders are there?

One, women are property.

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!