Ownership

Ownership jokes

Bike

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

Life

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Difference

What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Memes

Bar

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

Visitor

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

Dog

My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,

"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"

Porsche

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Lamborghini

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Woman

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Businessman

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

Rock

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

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  • Motorcycle

    What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

    I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

    Dog

    My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

    "Get your paws off!" πŸ’©πŸ’©πŸ’©

    Cheese

    What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.