Own jokes

Statement

Not a joke; just a statement:

Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.

Feminist

How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.

Baby

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Ball

Why do people never kick their own balls?

Because they might lose one!

Body

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Memes

Picture

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

Fellatio

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

Mama

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

Weed

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Pet

Why do white people own so many pets?

'Cause they can't own people anymore.

Math

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

CEO

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

Dog

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

Peanut

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Politician

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Car

Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?

His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!

Prison

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Dad

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...