when you ask an orphan to come over Kid: Do you want to come over to my house. Orphan: Yeah sure. Kid: Ok ask your parents oh wait.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare You know it’s bouta hang over
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A bill cosby victim
Guys I'm back....
Here's my joke
What I'd blue and red all over? Blood in the water of a shark attack victim
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day
How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!
Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.
A man got pulled over and the policeman had stepped out and said do you know how fast you were going and the man said I was trying to catch up with the traffic and the officer said there is no traffic the man said exactly that’s how far behind I am
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Q: why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns A: because knives dont have barrels
Your daddy so fat he tripped over a rock he thought it was a chip
Life asked death "why do people choose you over me?" death replied "because your the beautiful lie and i'm the painful truth."
Q:what do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!!!!
What does Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common
they both walk over the twin towers
I'm not saying you're stupid. But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, Do not place over head"
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.
The patient said when will this be over? "The doctor said after you die." The patient says "was that a morbid joke." The doctor says "well um actually you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure." The patient says "well its a bright day maybe if you weren't clumsy."
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP....
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
