What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal
i hate it when ever i bring a girl over my parents don't care but when i bring one of my friends thats a boy there like KeEp ThE DoOr OpEn and im gay
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It'll get better just walk it off."
Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
What is black, white and red all over? An interracial abortion.
There's four people on a roof a Mexican, Asian, black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says "this is for my people" and jumps off, the Asian also walks over to the ledge and says "this is for my people" and jumps off, then the black guy walks over to the edge and says "this is for my people" and pushes the white guy off.
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, Don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common ? They both lie over little boys 😂
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch.
Because it was over 10 years old.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
THE MILKY WAY!1!!1!!!11!!!111!!!111!!!11!!1111!1111!1!
what did the pilots say before crashing into the twin towers....we cant go over it we cant go under it we go through it
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah.. suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore..
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day. " I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day."
today was the worst day ever my ex got ran over by a bus, and i lost my job as a bus driver
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir"
whats fat and wanks over his mom ? guy sheppard
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning 🌄? Because he heard little boys 👦 pants 👖 were half off!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
