Overeating jokes
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.
The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)