Overeating Jokes

Why do indian guys never have gf's? bc they always pick curry and biryani over girls

What's black and white and red all over? An American School.

Ok guys I have one last joke (for now) What do you call it when panera is over Panera end

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over Im just aBiden the law officer.

there was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was? she said well son do you see that guy over there across the road, go give him a high-five. Son said but I can't see. mom said that's the point

*son* dad whats dark humor *dad* do you see the guy over there with no arms *son* no im blind.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of jeff bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you and the mcdonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romnticising their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.. Then you know they're faking depression🙂

If you know it, you know it

i have a fear of speed bumps but iim getting over it.

What is black white and red all over? A sunburnt zebra

Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay. Because it would be a bagel

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge”.

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

I took an uber home the other day, and the basterd was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said "who the fuck taught you to drive"... To this he replied "Stevie Wonder".

What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.

How are guys and tile floors alike

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless