A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
