Outing jokes

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"

These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.

What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.