Outing

Outing jokes

Dad

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Gym

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.

Goose

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Hairline

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Grade

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Chicken

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Twin Towers

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Soldier

What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"

Baby

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Orphanage

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

Life

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.