Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Outing Jokes
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
