Outing jokes
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, Iβm trying to shit!
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
Watch my videos and find out!!! π€ΈββοΈπ―π·π°πππππππππ
Memes
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"