Outing jokes
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Memes
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.