Outing jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.

Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?

Rabbi: Fuck the children!

Priest: Do we have time?

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.