Outing jokes

Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.

Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

What do you call a gay dwarf?

Coming out of the cupboard.

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.

Autobots, "Roll Out!"

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.