What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Outing Jokes
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is Iām the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
