Outing jokes

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

What do you call a fish without eyes?

A fsh.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Battery 1%.

I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"