New Outing Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a holocaust victim? Harry made it out of the chamber.

what comes in and comes out but you should never miss it

any ideas

SHIT !!!!

You are so fat when you jump in to the pool everyone get out

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger and then licked it. I passed out and now I'm here.

Git is going to let bill Cosby out of jail o wait he watched little bill

Yo momma's so ugly, that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.

Once I almost died ill give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job

One day I went to my friend's apartment and he told me to make myself home. I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors

Yo moma so fat that when she bought food she ran out of money

yo mamma so fat when I swerved to miss her I ran out of gas

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day, I love being a hitman

this guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to god please let me out it is too cold in here god is all confused there is a big fire in there the guy answers yes there is but you cannot get near it all the bishops cardinals and priests are sitting around it

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

37. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!" Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time".

38. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

39. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!" "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk".

40. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?" Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him." Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason." Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?" The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"

What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.

Shut the fuck up u fat bitch u always like to roast others but u cant walk up the stairs whithout passing out u fat stupid bitch and i caught you break into someones house just to steal a peace of candy fat ass bitch.