Mum finds out child cheats in math test. Mom says " there is no cheating in this house". Child " then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night? "
So this is how I got divorced. On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum and my 2 kids 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it? God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head (JFK Rizz)
what red and put out fire?
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11 but it's not funny when I found out my mates mum jumped from the 21st floor
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff?🤨
Me: What?
The person: you said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: colourful flamingo fart.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
The doctor told me in color blind... Me: that's out of he purple
Me: wanna play a game Sister: ya, what is it Me: tic tac toe Sister:? Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve Me: tic tac toe
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
I asked a kid why so blue didn't relies his parents were chocking him out
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
What's the difference between a new born baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but least one gets picked up.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend it was a good movie but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes through out the whole movie
when the feminists find out that it humanity not huwomanity
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgent coming in tomorrow im super excited to work with him the next day we had to do our first ever open hart surgery so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient so we finished the surgery and went out side for a smoke and we were talking I said why did you keep the patients blood on your glove? He replied we in my free time I test it for anything diseases HIV the next day I got invited to his house and we had some drinks I said this is amazing red tea what is in it just the 2000 people you have cut opened .
"One man's trash is another man's treasure." It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out your adopted :)
