Why did Michael Joseph Jackson dangle the baby over the balcony? He wanted to air out the blanket.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Okay what do you call that purple thing your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend so for some weird reason? Dad better look out from Bob battery operated boyfriend hahaha
Mum finds out child cheats in math test. Mom says " there is no cheating in this house". Child " then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night? "
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What is red and puts out fire?
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff?🤨
Me: What?
The person: you said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: colourful flamingo fart.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
I asked a kid why so blue didn't relies his parents were chocking him out
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
