Otherness jokes

DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!

Lancaster: Are you sure about that?

DB: huh?

Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!

DB: WHAT!?

Penta Barrel: I got 5!

DB: *insert becoming uncanny*

Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!

The others: HOW!?

*and that's how an argument started.*

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

What's the difference between me and the rest of America?

I love one and hate the other.

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.