Otherness jokes
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!